Re-Porter Potty

Tom is a potty reporter from the Harrison Post. He reports on porter-potty news articles when he is incentivized to.

One day, Tom got three leads on his desk:

The First:

“Two law enforcement officials said the bathrooms inside the Trump/Kushner home were declared off-limits to the [secret service]…“ - 2021

The Second:

“Top mathlete caught doing Adderall in a potty outside his mathletic competition…“

The Third:

“Quinceñera goes ayre when a porter-potty spilled into the bounce house…“

Tm had a few difficult calls to make.

First, he called the supplier named Police Porter-Potties:
”Hey Jim, you got 2 minutes to decide if you want me to write about the Kushners making their secret service use porter potties…”

Jim:

“Don’t people know that many babies have been conceived in military porter-potties… no one’s going to consider that a dishonor to the secret service!“

Tom:

“I’ll call you in 1.6 minutes for your decision…“

Tom hangs up and makes similar offers to his connects at Mathletic Porters and Quinceñera Shitters Incorporated…

PPP was the highest bidder, because Jim had confidence the story about Police using Porter-Potties would raise his company’s potential relevance in the zeitgeist…

Tom was the best damn potty reporter in the business…